Phrase: The world's tallest man is sitting in that hatchback.

Scene: Widebottom Manor in the wealthy westerns suburbs of Philadelphia's Main Line region.

Cast:
Chris Colgan - gardener.
Pugnacious Widebottom - Former secretary of the navy under President Ronald Reagan.
Lucy Widebottom - layabout.
Narrator - good guy, nice haircut.


Pugnacious Widebottom: Christopher! Christopher!! Mr. Colgan, I can see your feet!
Chris Colgan: (Hastily finishing a Bud tall boy under the bed of his pick up and crawling out to meet his wealthy client) Uhh, yeah, Mr. Widebottom, I was just checking the wheels for stress. I thought I hit -- about a mile back or so -- I thought I hit one of those uh, you know, they're all over the place out here, one of those ahhhhh... pedestrians.
Pugnacious Widebottom: (Mind recoiling in horror) Mr. Colgan, please! You'll upset my niece.
Lucy Widebottom: (Licks lips lasciviously, like an old chick trying just a bit too hard, which she was.)
Chris Colgan: (Member tightening) Uh, well no reason to worry, it must have just been a pile of bullllshittttt in the road or something.
Lucy Widebottom: (To Chris) Remember that time I called you out here because I thought there was an alligator in the garage, but it was just an animal skull?
Narrator: (Aside.) The alligator incident happened the previous morning, about ninish. Both the gardener and Ms. Widebottom were over-the-top drunk. She gave him head afterward.
Chris Colgan: (To Ms. Widebottom) Uhhh, vaguely.
Pugnacious Widebottom: (Frustrated) Mr. Colgan, I requested you out here this afternoon to clean the flower beds outside of the guest house my niece currently resides in. They are in an unbelievable state of disorder. (Pulls, Chris aside by the arm away from Ms. Widebottom.) Quite frankly, I believe the neighborhood youths used it as some sort of 'party platform.' I found an empty can of Budweiser, a pile of vomit and a pair of jockey undershorts.
Chris Colgan: (Feels about his cargo shorts in a failed search for where he thought his underwear should be) Uhhhh, yeah, my guys are on their way over here right now. Uhhh, here they are.
Pugnacious Widebottom: Splendid. (A second pickup pulls up and sitting in the back on a lawn chair is one skinny crack head and a chubby guy with illustrious man boobs. Mr. Widebottom is clearly shocked.) Mr. Colgan that is disgusting. Have your man with the... with the... have him cover up. I am not adverse to freaks. I once saw the tallest man in the world in that hatchback. That hatchback parked right there. I paid $200 to have him attend one of my garden parties. He was a smashing success of a freak, but I will not have man boobery bouncing about my estate! Do you hear?
Chris Colgan: Yeah. Bruce! How many times do I have to tell you? My customers don't wanna see that shit! Put a shirt on!

By Pell